Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Feminine Wiles: It's all about subtlety

Note: this is a joint posting between Wonder Muff and Sugar Twat.

Wonder Muff and Sugar Twat went out to paint the town blue tonight. They started by walking down Comm to T. Anthony's, to get a bite before going to the rock show.
There were three young women in the pizza shop, desperately seeking male attention. They played the dance sexy game, the pretend to be bi game, and the shriek and giggle game. Now, bear in mind that Wonder Muff and Sugar Twat actually were looking hot and sexy. As Wonder Muff says: "Our hotness was subtle. They were overblown, and think that slutty and hot are the same thing." Sugar Twat thought that Wonder Muff looked like Chrissie Hynde. Super sexy with her tats peeking out from under the edges of her top. Wonder Muff thought that Sugar Twat was on the other end of the Punk Rock spectrum. Like a two woman version of the Decline of Western Civilization.
All of the men seemed put off by the blatant angling of the pizza shop girls. One guy in the shop even caught Sugar Twat's eye, and they sort of shook heads at each other. Wonder Muff says: "we sat in the booth, and discussed how much we could teach them about subtlety, and about owning one's sexuality." Had they tagged along and observed WM and ST for the rest of the night, they would have taught them something. Wonder Muff interjects: "Like how not to act like stupid whores."

So, Wonder Muff and Sugar Twat then crossed the street to go to the Paradise Rock Club, to see X, the best band in the world. Wonder Muff says: "we approached the door, and saw the sign that the tickets were sold out. But, we were undeterred." First, Sugar Twat approached the doorman, and asked, nicely, if they ever resold tickets that weren't picked up. They do not. A lot of people would have given up. Our girls did not. Guys kept asking Sugar Twat for a light, and each time she handed her lighter over, she said "Got any extra tickets?" At one point, a sound guy asked for a light, and for one moment she thought he would be the connection. No luck there. But, they persisted, and stood within eye line of the door, without crowding.

Finally, Wonder Muff noticed the doorman make a sly come hither gesture towards them. So they did. He whispered, "I can get you in. Come around the rope and make sure you hand your ID's to me. Then, after you go in, wait for me in the lounge." So they did. They waited in the lounge for a few minutes, and later, found that for a moment both thought that that was as far as they would get. Then, he came in and brought them to the back of the room, and told them to wait. So they did. Finally, he brought them behind a rope, through a door marked "No admittance. Employees only," and up a poorly-lit, narrow flight of stairs. Our girls glanced at each other, shrugged, and followed him up the stairs, not sure of where they were going, but certain that they could take care of themselves and each other. They emerged into the second floor balcony area. He told them that since they didn't have tickets, they couldn't go down to the main floor, and they would not be able to go outside and re-enter. That was fine with them. After Wonder Muff and Sugar Twat thanked him, they looked at each other in amazement. They just had a total rock and roll moment, without debasing themselves. They knew that the pizza shop girls would never have been slipped in by the doorman.

Sugar Twat says: "The show was amazing. We danced the entire time. We screamed, we sang at the top of our lungs. We were total balls-out rock chicks. We were hit on by several squares who were more impressed with our rock status the more we talked. Then we walked away."

After a fantastic set, both X and the girls were drenched in sweat. They cooled down to two encores-three songs each. Wonder Muff says: "We did not want the night to end, but finally admitted that the music was over." Since they didn't think they could go back down the employee stairs, they then went to the main floor. This is when, just by being themselves, Wonder Muff and Sugar Twat got what the pizza girls would have wanted but didn't have the power to attain. Billy Zoom, the guitar player, was milling about shaking hands with the crowd. He turned, walked straight up to Sugar Twat, took her face in his hands, and kissed her. Then, he embraced Wonder Muff, and, she later said: "he grabbed my ass." Wonder Muff says: "this has nothing to do with feminism. It happened because we weren't trying to get his attention. it wasn't degrading, it was just a part of our rock-star night."

Another pair of girls might have tried to get something else out of the night, and probably would have ended up giving blow jobs to the roadies. But this was not about false intimacy, or trying to find a sense of self worth in an anonymous sexual encounter. It was about two girls who love rock and roll. So, Wonder Muff and Sugar Twat bought t-shirts and walked home, together, alone.

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